Parker! Bring me pictures of Spider-Man!

We all know Peter Parker has had a hard time holding down a job. He's not loaded like Batman and his job does not necessitate running into danger like Superman's so your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man has always been kinda screwed every time some one needs his help but he was on the clock. But that does not excuse the wall-crawler from robbing a pizzeria!

That's right Spidey fans, some jackass in Tacoma, WA donned the web-slinger's duds and a 9mm and waltzed into a Papa Murphy's pizzeria for his take of the till. That was last Wednesday but, unfortunately, it gets worse. It turns out that on Nov. 4, two Spider-Men walked into a Bank of America in Texas, decked out in Spidey costumes, hooded sweatshirts and guns and apparently got away clean. Here is, I kid you not, a still shot from the bank security camera.


If he's already got the costume on, why did he think he needed the hood? What was he trying to accomplish there? Was he trying to make people think it was a different Marvel Comics hero? "Oh my officer, I was so scared I can't remember if it was Spider-Man or Thor!"

And actually, the cops investigating the bank robbery Spider-Men think one of them was actually a Spider-Woman... insert your own joke here.

I hate to say it but maybe J. Jonah Jameson was right all along. Maybe Spider-Man is a menace. After all, he did get arrested in LA on the Hollywood walk of fame a couple weeks ago for slugging some guy.

My, my, my... what is this world coming to? Before you know it, people dressed as the Fastastic Four are going to be robbing banks and pizzerias because they saw Spider-man do it and they thought it was cool. Blind criminals dressed as devils will try to join in but they'll have walked into Build a Bear workshops by accident! Terrorists are going to dress up as the X-Men to pull off unspeakable acts of evil! Although I'm sure none of them are going to want to dress as The Phoenix, too revealing for Muslim extremists.