Too Little, Too Late Verizon

I was, until recently, a Verizon Wireless customer. Despite the facts that Verizon definitely has the best service coverage nationally, and is ranked the number 1 wireless provider, I switched to AT&T, and I bet you can guess why. If you guessed iPhone, you would be correct. I don’t live in New York and I don’t live in the Bay Area, I live in Boston and in Boston, AT&T works fine (if I start to have problems I will definitely write something about it). Coverage is great and all, but a phone is so much more than just a device for conveying voices from one handset to another. Rather, what the phone can do is important. A case could definitely be made that things like the iPhone are not really even phone, but that’s a different topic.

I see today that Verizon is going to start carrying Android phones, and you know what I say to this? Too Little, Too Late. Phones need an ecosystem in order to succeed. They need functionality that is both built into the phone itself and extensionality that is built in through applications. I love Google, and when Android came out I was all for it. I could see a place where Android would be the OS of choice since it was so easy to develop for and that development was supported by Android. But this never really came to pass. Android exists, and there are some things developed for it, but it still does not come close to the ecosystem for the iPhone; despite the fact that Apples is way more closed and oppressive than Google in this regard, I mean just look at Google Voice.

Recently some Android developers came under fire for creating ROMS for the Android phones. The lawyer end of Google told them to stop because they were including proprietary Google code in their ROMs. They included Google’s mobile apps and Google’s lawyers gave the developers a cease and desist for including them, since the mobile apps themselves are not open source.
Now Google is a company and thus they have lawyers. These lawyers do what all lawyers do, they try to enforce rules to protect their companies interests while at the same time Google’s developers, the people that want to make software and the internet more open, support and are part of the developer communities. So there is a little of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing between the Google developers and the Google lawyers. The developer community, which is small compared to the iPhone community, seems to be mainly geeky techie people (this is not a bad thing). It seems to me that the Android phones are more of a toy for the tech savvy, the people that like to dismantle their gadgets and write new and better code for their toys. This brings me to my main point.

Verizon is jumping on the bandwagon but they are doing it wrong. Verizon, for the longest time, has never had any good phones; they had and have great service (just watch their new ad below), but on that service, the consumers are given little choice.

Now Verizon is going to have Android phones, and while these phones are “cooler” than the phones they usually have, they will not be enough and the reason is that none of these phones have an ecosystem that really jumps out to the consumer. Verizon says they will support Google Voice, no details on how or to what extent yet, and that is a selling point. However, eventually Apple will allow it too (I suspect), mooting that selling point. I don’t think that the Android phones will really cause people to switch to Verizon, but it will do more to stop people that are already Verizon customers from making the jump to another provider. But will it be enough?

Probably not, but it could be if Verizon gets in there and helps to create an ecosystem the Android phones can exist in. A place where the phones are not just a sophisticated piece of technology, but a great gadget with loads of extensionality, and fun. But as we have seen in the past Verizon does not really care about the consumer, so at the end of the day Verizon is totally half assing this. They are getting coolish phones, but not going full on to the coolest phones, the phones that could not only be a boon to their advertising, but then they would have awesome phones and awesome service, launching them way, way out in front of any of their competitors. But, as I said, Verizon does not really care about the customer, yeah there is a map for that, but it would be so much better if there was a map and an app for that too.

Warhammer, more like Lamehammer

Ok, let me nerd out here for a minute, I would suggest getting a trash bag to keep yourself clean of Cheetos dust (everyone knows that the side affect of nerding out is Cheetos dust). It was recently made public that there is going to be a Warhammer 40k movie. I love Warhammer 40,000, but not in the way you probably think. I love the books, Dan Abnett specifically. I have never played the miniatures game, Warhammer or Warhammer 40k, or the MMO (I will get into the MMO in a minute) but Dan Abnett writes some kick ass science fiction. I personally think it is some of the best scifi being written today. There are a lot of fan boys out there that don’t really like Abnett because he tends to take the Warhammer IP and make it his own, but he does this in a fantastic way. I know that part of the appeal of playing RPGs (the non video game versions) is that you get to inject your own fantasy into the world, and sometimes things like books and movies tend to canonize things that might not jibe with your fantasy. But you know what? Fan boys are fan boys and they sometimes need to deal. This is one of those times.

The Warhammer 40k IP is a really rich and so much could be pulled out of it that is good, so long as it is done in the correct way, and this movie and the things that have come out in the past have never lived up to the potential they could have, at least not in my option.

In cases you are unfamiliar with what Warhammer is I will give you a quick rundown. There are two basic types of Warhammer. There is regular Warhammer, which takes place in a middle ages type world with elves and orcs and humans and they are all fighting each other (sound familiar?). It’s basically high fantasy. Then there is Warhammer 40,000. Warhammer40k basically takes the things from the high fantasy version of Warhammer and launches them all into space. There is a huge mythology worked into both versions, though personally I like the one from 40k better which, in a nut shell, is that humans are roaming around the galaxy fighting a massive war against the forces of Chaos (Chaos is the primary evil in the Warhammer world). Some of the Chaos are traitors from the Humans that chose to ally themselves with the “dark powers”. It gets a lot more complex than that, and there is even a notion that the Humans are actually in the wrong and Chaos is in the right, it’s all a matter of perspective. If you want to learn more about it check out the 40k wiki.

In 2008 Games Workshop (GW) released “Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning”, which is a massive multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) where you play a character in the high fantasy version of Warhammer. I have personally never played it, however I have heard it’s a pretty fun game, and it does some things better than existing MMO’s. The big problem is that it took place in the high fantasy Warhammer, which is basically the same setting at World of Warcraft, and WoW was already a massive success. WoW has put other MMO’s out of business, so to release something that is basically the same is a huge mistake.

On top of that the fantasy setting has been done to death (Did anyone even play Conan?). Had GW actually wanted to have a successful MMO without having to even really deal with WoW all they needed to do was set it in the 40k universe, which would make it scifi, and a scifi MMO is something players have been wanting for years (Yes I know there is EVE, but EVE is EVE and not part of this discussion). There is a lot of basic overlap between the fantasy setting for WR and the scifi setting so I don’t think it would have been that big of a deal to make the scifi one. If I had to guess, I would bet that GW was too scared to try something that was new and wanted to stay in the safe realm of MMO settings that had been done already, neglecting the fact that if they hads set the Warhammer MMO in space, they could have created something to actually compete with WoW rather than just something for bored WoW 80s to try out for a couple weeks and then go back over to WoW when they get sick of playing yet another fantasy MMO.

Dan Abnett, who has written comics for both DC and Marvel, as well several originals and, in my opinion, is the best author in the Black Library, which is the book publishing arm of Game Workshop. His books that take place in the 40k universe are awesome. They are well written, no fan fiction crap, with good characters, awesome action and really interesting plots (you can find them in hardcover). If you have not read any of his books I would highly recommend the “Ravenor: Omnibus”. It’s a killer scifi read. The Gaunt’s Ghosts books are awesome too. There are other authors in the Black Library, but the all pale in comparison to Abnett.

Now here is my big gripe with the movie; it’s not going to be based on a work by Abnett, so the best we can hope for is that the CGI will be cool and watching Orc and Space Marines kick the crap out of each other will be entertaining. The movie will go straight to DVD which says to me that only a very small amount of people will ever see it. Currently, I imagine it will end up on my Netflix queue. This is a damn shame. If the movie was going to be adapted from an Abnett novel with Abnett doing the adaptation you could have a blockbuster! The movie could be billed as an action scifi and depending on the choice of work, horror. The scifi movie genre has been pretty stale and lacking anything new and Warhammer 40k has everything required to create an awesome movie that would appeal to current fans of 40k and the main stream public. A few years ago I would have hesitated to say that. However, since both DC and Marvel have turned their works into movies, some of which have been good, and the general public sees those; you could definitely get people into see a 40k movie especially if it was well written, and based on a solid story.

Of course the actual movie that is in the works is not going to be nearly as cool as it could be. Rather, the movie is going to just be Space Marines versus Orcs. This basically means that no one will see this movie and, once again, Warhammer’s potential is being squandered.
This is totally my opinion, maybe the movie will be cool, and maybe there are loads of problems with having an Abnett’s based movie or a 40k MMO, but I am going to issue a challenge to Games Workshop to “do something new, unique and challenging with your 40k IP.” And please try to do it before Star Craft II comes out! Now, I would suggest you go take a shower and wash all the Cheetos dust off.

Rule 4: Double Tap

That’s actually good advice no matter who you’re shooting at. If John McClane had double tapped Karl in Die Hard, he wouldn’t have come back at the end and pointed that gun at Holly. But I digress.

Zombieland is actually Number 1 at the box office with $25,000,000 this weekend and it deserves it. I checked the flick out Friday night and it was an all around fun time.

Jesse Eisenberg plays “Columbus” – who I guess you could call the hero of our tale. Columbus isn’t his real name, though. We never learn his real name because when he runs into Woody Harrelson’s character “Tallahassee” they insist on using only their destinations to identify themselves instead of names. Columbus is one of the only survivors of a worldwide human transmittable mad cow disease epidemic that turns people into zombies. Columbus meets Tallahassee on an abandoned highway and they decided to go it together if only for a little while. The two make an unlikely pair, but actually kick a little zombie ass together.

Columbus is on his way his parents home in Ohio to see if they survived although he admits he has never been that close to them. He learned of the outbreak early on when his hot, female next door neighbor turns and attacks him. So he forms a set of rules for himself and hits the road with a wheeled suitcase and a double barreled shotgun. He has 32 rules but we only learn a handful of them on screen.

Rule 1: Cardio – The undead in this flick can run, so you need to be able too as well. The first people taken out were the fatties and this has made me hit the treadmill at the gym even harder.

Rule 2: Beware of Bathrooms – When else are you at your most vulnerable?

Rule 3: Seatbelts – Can save your life in a normal world but in Zombieland getting tossed through a windshield may not kill you but it makes you helpless for when they feeding frenzy comes.

Rule 4: Double Tap- Don’t be stingy with your ammo. After you knock a zombie down with the first shot, put one more in their head to be sure.

Rule 17: Don’t be a Hero – Unless the only girl your age left alive in Zombieland is in danger… Then be the biggest fucking hero you can be!!

Rule 31: Check the Backseat – Columbus writes this rule the first time we meet him on screen.

Rule 32: Enjoy the Little Things – Tallahassee teaches this to him when he takes out his frustration on an abandoned SUV with a crowbar.

Columbus’ traveling partner is Tallahassee - a man who may not like Zombieland, but he’s going to kick a little ass and take a few names as long as he’s in it. Oh and he’s looking for the last Twinkie in the world. He says it will remind him of an easier, simpler time.

Woody Harrelson really sells the character to you. After all, he assaulted a photographer at an airport claiming he was still in character and thought the photog was a zombie. There’s even a moment when Tallahassee’s hatred of the zombies is explained and while it could have come off a little cheesy, you buy it. I also identify with Tallahassee when he says "My mother always told me, one day, I'd be good at something. I bet she never thought that thing would be zombie killing."

Along the way the two pick up Wichita (played by Emma Stone) and Little Rock (played by Abigail Breslin) two sisters who have heard that the “Pacific Playland” amusement park is zombie free. Actually "pick up" is too nice a term – "get fucked over by" is more like it.

Why is this flick so good? Because they clearly spent a few million dollars on a B movie and didn’t care. It’s junk food for your brain – good in small doses so the 88 minute runs time is perfect. There’s just enough character development to keep it from being totally devoid of heart but the focus is obviously the zombie kills. Just check out the trailer below for the Zombie Kill of the Week. Also, there is an A list celebrity cameo that will have you laughing so hard at certain points that it will be hard to breathe.

I’m Batman!

No, I’m not really Batman… and neither is the crazy Swedish guy that spent $1 million on building his own replica Batmobile.

That’s right, some Swedish guy’s milkshake tastes better than yours! Even though it’s a replica of the original 1989 film Batmobile that’s still pretty awesome. Apparently this baby was built on the body of a 1973 Lincoln Continental and is packed full of awesome gadgets.

Check out this video.

This Batmobile packs no firepower that we know of but it does have GPS navigation, voice recognition, a DVD player, a plasma TV and rearview cameras.

Still, I think there are better ways to spend $1 million. Didn’t Indonesia lose a few people and buildings recently? Maybe you can hawk the ride and send them some aid or something. Or at least up grade to the Tumbler.

Its not nice to spread rumors

This will be quick and since I am not feeling particularly inspired right now it might suck, but let me tell you why I could care less about these Apple tablet rumors.

Personally I see almost no need for the existence of a tablet Apple or otherwise. The tablets occupied a technology space that is somewhere between a phone and a netbook, basically it would be for things that are a little too hard to do on a cell phone screen but not complex enough to require a netbook.
Most smart phones are capable of GPS, however the small screen on the phone makes it hard to both look at and drive at the same time, so having a larger screen like you could on a tablet could be useful here except there are already a number of cheaper products that exist for the purpose of being GPS devices to use while driving, so even that space is filled.
A tablet is too big to fit in your pocket so it’s not like it would be easy to transport, like a phone is, and if you are going to carry a bag around with you then you might as well put a netbook in that bag. I fail to see anywhere that the tablet would be useful that is not already populated by a better product. The only real use I can think of for a tablet would be to pretend you are in Star Trek; those dudes are always carrying around tablet type devices.
This is the last time I will discuss the Apple Tablet here (Ryan still can, but I just won’t read the post), and for that matter till I see a tablet I would love I will not write any more entries about them (again this only pertains to me, the tablet hater), and I would request the rest of the tech world stop giving press to the Apple tablet until such a time as it actually exists. Didn’t you learn anything as a kid? It’s not nice to spread rumors.

Well... I'm moving to Korea.

I would rather jump off a cliff than depend on my cell phone's camera for taking pictures. Which is unfortunate because I use my BlackBerry Storm for almost everything else. Let's ignore the fact that the BlackBerry Storm is inferior to the iPhone in many ways... yeah yeah yeah, I get it. I can basically use my phone for everything I could need during the day. In addition to using the the web surfing, memo, email, calendar and calculator functions for work, the voice recorder is actually far better than the $40 digital recorder I used to use for taking notes. Plus I can file the recordings on my computer or email them to myself or others.

So two of my most important needs as a journalist are met, mobile web and a recorder. Now if I could just get a decent camera on it, I could carry one device in my pocket all day. And that's why I'm moving to Korea, because this 12 megapixel, 3x optical zoom Samsung phone is only going to be available there.

See ya America, you just do not fulfill my cellphone needs any more. Yeah sure the freedom, culture, entertainment and language are all better suited for me but come on.... it's got three times optical zoom!!!

Here's what this baby also comes tricked out with:
* Wi-Fi
* GPS
* Bluetooth
* 4GB of on board memory
* microSD slot that allows expansion up to 32 GB
* 3.3 inch, 800x480 touchscreen
* 1,280x 720 video

Take a look at that shutter button, those zoom buttons, the flash and shooting mode dial! Throw a little 3G on this baby and I'll think about marrying it. I would still want to see some sample pics before I quit my job and tell the people I work with what I really think... I'm talking to you Gail! The true test for a camera is always the size and quality of the sensor. Case in point, my old Nikon D1H has a 2.1 megapixel sensor in it. My Sanyo Xacti video camera has a 7.1 megapixel still photo sensor in it. The quality difference could not be greater, especially in low light. Nikon wins it hands down there. It ain't all in the megapixels, it's in the sensors. But I would like to think the good people at Samsung Korea have thought of this.


This is something we need to see more of in this country, cameras that incidentally act as phones. I get the feeling that most people don't give a crap about the exact phone they have as long as it performs multiple functions for them and keeps them connected their peeps or tweeps or whatever the hell the kids say these days Anyway, the days of weighted down pockets are through, onward came the cellphones that act as (good) cameras. And if you're interested, there's Wired's list of the five gadgets cell phones killed. Oh and here are seven more. Until next time, An-nyeong Hi-gye-se-yo!

More MMS Fun, this time with law suits

I have a couple of close friends that have the iPhone on AT&T and when I heard the update to allow them access to MMS was available, I pressured them to connect to iTunes and download the update. After each of them had preformed the update, I tried to send them a picture via picture messaging on my non-smart phone. I have seen the screen shots of what the MMS is supposed to look like on the iPhone text messaging layout, and I expected to see the picture of the creepy doll

in between the messages I had already sent. Neither of them got it! I sent it! According to my phone it went out. I waited untill the next day and still it had not shown up. On top of that they didn’t even get the dumb link iPhone users used to get when they received a picture. It just never showed up on the phones. Maybe this is an example of the craptastic service that AT&T is notorious for providing. I knew that the MMS would cause some network issues, but never actually delivering the picture is crazy. On top of that AT&T is actually supposed to be the best provider in Boston (where I live).

Even crazier than the picture not showing up is this article. I guess people are always looking for a quick buck, and suing is a really easy way to do that. But give me a break. Suing AT&T because they rolled out MMS at the end of September rather then the “end of the summer” which depending on who you ask could be several different dates.

I have always held that that the Solstice and the Equinox mark the ends or beginning of new seasons, and according to Wikipedia the equinox for the fall occurred on September 22, which is the Tuesday before the actual release of MMS. For me, Friday is a more dramatic day of the week than Tuesday, so if I was going to release something around September 22nd and I wanted the release to be dramatic I would wait until Friday too, I mean what’s three more days, really when people have been waiting years.

Now a case could be made that the end of summer and the beginning of fall is Labor Day, which this year was on September 7th. September 7th to September 25th is a pretty decent time difference, most of the month, and if you are using Labor Day as the day where summer ends and fall begins then yeah MMS was kinda late. Labor day is the first Monday in September so it does not even fall on a particular date, and as far I care it’s pretty arbitrary to be used as a deadline for anything since it’s something that is set by people. Someone picked it to be the first Monday in September - there is no science or anything like that for why it is that day.

Again, for my money I am going to pick the date that has science behind it, which is the equinox (you can read more about it the link above). The equinox affects everyone on Earth where as Labor Day is a US.. holiday. AT&T is worldwide so why should they be constrained by something that is so regional? If the they are using the equinox as their measure of the “end of summer” than they are on the money and not really late at all. In that case this kid is a jerk, and I hope the judge throws the case out, actually I hope the judge throws the case out either way.